Future Dad Advice: 5 Things to know about Kids
Hey Future Dad! I will tell you about the 5 Things to Know about Kids that will help you prepare both mentally and physically.
Fatherhood is awesome but has its ups and downs. It will be the most challenging yet most rewarding experience for you. Hopefully my advice will avoid you from being totally shell-shocked as a first-time parent like I was.
1. Kids are so expensive
According to the US Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child from birth to age 17 is $233,610. In my case, the $14k per year average was light and does not include other considerations like socking away money for college.
The jaw dropper for me was getting the year-end daycare statement for 2 kids totaling $38,000! As you plan for the next big upgrade (house, new car), include the cost of kids in your budget as it is significant.
When your baby is born, start up the 529 college fund. It is never too early to start. See 529 College Plan Saving Advice for details.
2. Your Health & Beauty Rest will take a hit
Flu, Ear Infections, Pink Eye, Lice, Whooping Cough and diseases you never knew existed (Hand, Foot, Mouth) will dominate the first few years of your kid’s life especially if they attend daycare.
If there was a frequently flier program for visits to the doctor’s office, we would easily have qualified for platinum status.
Unfortunately, your health will get hit no matter your previous track record or how hard you try to stay healthy. Case and Point: Adults don’t normally get hand, foot, mouth disease. I wish that were true as I ended up in the emergency room courtesy of my firstborn.
According to webmd, new parents can expect to lose sleep for 6 years. This is not a typo – 6 long years! There are things you can do to help lessen this period such as sleep training (See Ferber and Cry it out methods).
My sleep deprivation period was closer to 3 years per kid but since they came sequentially (2 year gap), my official counter was also 6+ years.
To learn from my personal experience on this topic, please see Sleep Training Methods that work.
3. Your Life will change
Frank “The Tank” (Old School Movie): Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.”
Your life will be vastly different and will revolve around the routine of the baby in the beginning (Eat, Nap, Play, Poop, Repeat). Without a predictable routine, you risk a crabby baby and greater chance for a sleepless night.
Prior to kids, we thought it was odd that when little kids were involved, we would have to eat and finish dinner before 6pm. Now we have come to be the oddballs that arrive at restaurants as soon as they open in order to maintain our precious schedule.
4. You will need help
You better start loving your in-laws and seriously consider having them live close by. This will especially be helpful during the first few months where you will appreciate any help.
Think even for the small things such as a few hours of relief to take a nap, allow you to run errands or simply hold a sleeping baby. And you will savor the simple things like a home cooked meal.
A different help is needed once you return back to work as your kids always seem to get sick at the worst time. Babysitters for hire are an option, but they are not cheap and not always available.
5. The Honeymoon period is over
As with all the challenges listed above, life will be dramatically different. Tensions will be high due to lack of sleep, loss of previous lifestyle, and overall adjustment expanding your family.
Be aware that you may have to tend to your spouse relationship extra hard especially in the beginning. In order to keep your relationship healthy, make sure you schedule the time. As an example, scheduling monthly date nights will do you and your partner wonders.
Final Words of Advice
You have learned about the 5 things to know before you have kids. Let me reiterate having kids will be the most REWARDING experience for you. Your kids will bring you the greatest joys in life and you will have many memories to cherish.
Before the chaos ensues of becoming first time parents, here are my final words of advice: splurge on that grand vacation you have always wanted to do, enjoy your beauty sleep and take advantage of your free time.
About DadMBA: Through his schooling (he does have a MBA) & more importantly being a Dad, he has provided practical advice to family & friends on finances & other life topics. He loves helping others thus the creation of DadMBA.
